THE CURMUDGEON CHRONICLE - #218

THE CURMUDGEON CHRONICLE ©

AN IRREVERENT VIEW


Time Line: September 27, 2007
Date Line: Flemington New Jersey

In view of the possibility that we may leave Iraq, we offer the following ad lest this need be overlooked in the euphoria surrounding withdrawal.

“WANTED: JUNK-YARD DOG for long term steady employment in demolition and sentry work. Limited opportunity for advancement or personal growth; long hours and dangerous working conditions; Arabic-speaker experienced in sand and wasteland terrains preferred; no educational requirement but illiteracy is preferred. Inhumation coverage and free lunch provided. Apply to US Department of Defense, Pentagon Office Building. An Equal Opportunity Employer.
(Our staff knows of this position; there are no in-house applicants.)

Yes Virginia, there is a problem. We can’t leave Iraq without getting our munitions, vehicles, aircraft, supply depots, and weaponry out of the area. If we fail to remove or destroy them completely, we are going to be shot at and bombed with our own equipment.

If you think that’s funny I can assure you that no one who had to fight the Afghan Warlords, the Taliban and al-Qaeda (who have been using Russian arms and munitions for decades) is laughing with you.
The spoils of retreat have fueled indigenous forces since the first club was dropped by homo habilis leaving the scene of a fight over a carcass.

We fought the American Revolution using British powder and shot, captured or jettisoned. The deaths of our soldiers in Iraq is largely due to the availability of Sadaam’s weapons and munitions dumps that were left unguarded by the military genius of Donald Rumsfeld, working under the leadership of George W. Bush who doesn’t read or learn the lessons of history.

We are not going to bring all our war materials home with us because it costs too much. If the past is any indication, some of the stuff will get destroyed, but most will wind up for sale in the black market, by various arms dealers. That is the sobering aspect of withdrawal. If we do not solve the logistical problem, Iran will not need a nuclear device to control the region. It will have enough of our conventional weaponry to make good any threat.

Where is that junkyard dog now that we need it?

We used to have one called NATO that could be as mean as all get-out to our enemies and kind as a puppy to our friends. Alas, Bush & Co. kicked it in the tummy and now it won’t come if we call. Other possible applicants for the job, like Egypt and even Libya don’t want the work, are frightened of getting bitten, and don’t like us in any event.

The mercenary forces we have used are not good at long term stuff and (unless we use Halliburton which costs billions), will sell us out for a dime. So what are we left with? As our President says, “Let us ask General Petraeus”.

If the General guarantees a solution we should see that he gets another star for his collar and an apology on bended knee from Move On.Org.

Howard Stamer