THE CURMUDGEON CHRONICLE - #283

THE CURMUDGEON CHRONICLE ©

AN IRREVERENT VIEW


Time Line: July 23, 2010
Date Line: Chicago IL

At college I thought Philosophy majors were natives of another solar system. They did not think or talk like serious people preparing for real life as accountants, engineers, doctors, etc.. They were the air-heads of the fifties who would go nowhere.

Now I find that if I had been at school when “Plato and a Platypus” became a text I’d gladly have become a Philo major. How was I to know in 1946 that Grouch Marx was a Philosopher? His definition of public ethics has been followed by every politician since Nero including those who run our country.

Groucho’s ethical stance is simple and direct, i.e.: “These are my principles. If you don’t like them, I have others.”

Consider the employee in the Department of Agriculture getting fired because her speech is edited by someone who wishes to embarrass the administration and the NAACP. The result is a hate filled diatribe against white folk. The old British truism comes into play:

When in trouble, when in doubt
Flap your arms and rush about.

In a self righteous huff, the Secretary of Agriculture has her called; forced to pull over to the side of the road, and bullied into resigning a job she has held for more than 20 years. By that evening the plot unravels.

It is discovered that the lady did nothing untoward. Quite the opposite: her remarks demonstrate the necessity of putting racial hatred away once and for all. The white farmer who she supposedly harmed, states that she saved his farm.

The hanging judges wring their hands; the collective ethics of the NAACP and the administration are called into question. Everyone acted precipitously; the accused never got the opportunity to defend herself; the wrongdoer got the results he wanted; and egg is all over the faces of the administration from the President to the White House’s janitor.

What possible explanation can they give other than, “Those actions were supposed to be in line with our principles. Fortunately, since you don’t like them, we have others.”

Only a philosopher or a politician spouts such nonsense. It takes an accountant to provide the public with realities like WorldCom’s bookkeeping and Lehman Brothers “arms-length” transactions with affiliated entities.

In the fullness of time I have come to believe only in reality as stated by W.C. Fields:“The world is made up of (3%) nitrogen, (2%) hydrogen, (5%) oxygen and (90%) Bullshit.“ **

The percentages change in favor of more Bullshit the closer one gets to Washington DC or NYC’s Madison Avenue.

Howard Stamer

** Most statistics are made up, as needed, on the spot.